can we say asshole?

Well our shit is final on oct. 2nd and I can't wait. Although he is pissing me off. He hasn't gotten Abby for his weekend. He was in town a week a go Thursday and didn't bother to call or stop by to see her. He changed his phone number and so did his step-mom. So I can't call to tell him about Abby or nothing. I wonder if there is something lower than pond scum, oh wait there is it is called Frank!

Well two of my closest friends got married tonight. I wish them the best of luck in their life together. I cried my eyes out at the wedding b/c I was so happy for them, but at the same time was so depressed. We went to the court house today. I get to keep Abby, but he gets her every other weekend. I should be happy, but I am not. I keep praying for a miracle. I guess the answer is no. If this is what we wanted and everything then i should be doing cartwheels, but instead I am at home crying my eyes out. I love him more than anything in this world and always will.

Nothingness

I know this sounds insane, but I never realised how loud quiet is. This house has never seemed so empty. I just wish I could talk to her. I love my little girl so much and as strange as it sounds I still love frank, but I will never forgive him.

NEED YOUR PRAYERS DESPERATELY!

As you know Frank has Abby. I am not allowed to see or speak to her as long as he has here there. Please I need your prayers on this that she comes home soon.

Simply shocking

Ok in case you are wondering we got a washer and dryer now. Well we also had to buy alott of shit to get it working properly. Today we had to get two new valves for the washer and a new cord for the dryer. Well in a stoke of genius I wanted to make sure the plug would work in our outlet without it being hooked up to anything. I DID NOT plug it in I almost did and it shocked the shit out of me. I could not hear anything for over an hour. After that was over with we get home get everything put together and I touch the fridge and get shocked again. After another plug on the fridge that is fixed. So my moto now is if it is electrical I ain't touching it.

Today I said goodbye!

Today I said goodbye to the man I thought would never die. Today I said goodbye to the best man I've ever known. Today I said goodbye to my uncle Jeff. For thoose of you who haven't heard my mom's uncle passed away on wednesday morning. His funeral was today. He will be dearly missed and always loved.

The media sucks!

Have you ever noticed how the media loves to show "famous" people personal lives. Ok before you get pissed off with what I am about to write remember this is my OPINION. Now we all know about the fire that killed a resident of tarkington last week. Ok well now the whole fucking world knows about it b/c he is related to a person who was on "American Idol". I mean I read shit today on Access Hollywood about it. Had he not been related to Sundance Head people in Hollywood wouldn't have gave a damn. Now you have this story everywhere it seems and you read comments on these people's blogs saying how sorry they are for his loss. WTF they know Sundance Head via television, and they are morning the loss of his cousin. The people who should be morning are people who actually knew him and/or his family. I am sorry but the media pisses me off.

Dropping like flys!

Well a few weeks ago I lost Mrs. Stephens last week I lost Granny Oliver and now I find out my
Aunt's cancer is back. Last night she was taken to the hospital possible stroke. Today we find out she was having Caesars and has swelling on the brain.

Why?

Why does life have to be this hard? One minute I am happy as can be then I find something that reminds me of him. I don't want to be with him, but I can't seem to get over him. Sleep is getting harder the days are getting longer. Then my off days hit and it is loneliness. I try to stay busy and to keep strong for Abby, but when I am alone all I can do is think and that brings tears abd I don't want to cry anymore. We are better off aapart, but I miss him. He has been calling to check on Abby more, but we always argue when we talk. I ask God everyday to make it stop hurting, but I guess the answer is no.

Plus on top of everything else the lasy that was in the nursing home I used to work at passed away yesterday so I've lost her to.